the framelines of that dream

i had a dream last night, the last dream on the last morning on 2010.
it's so absurd, waking me up in a state where i asked myself "dang! what did you just dream?what's that supposed to mean?"

here's the story in framelines,

frame 01: the walk

i was walking with four people. four of my friends, i dont remember who are them, but the gestures are stating that we're good enough as friends. we were walking on something-like-pathway in a middle of a hill. we're laughing and joking aaround though we know we're lost.

frame 02: the staircases

as we found the end of the pathway, there were a line of three staircases. on the left, original simple stairsteps; on the right, a normal escalator-stairs like the usual on mall or buildings we have; and the center, is also a escalator-stairs but a very fast one, a lot faster than the normal one..
the other people were hesitate to get upstairs, but not me, i dont know why, i pick and get on the middle one, the center, the fast one..

frame 03: the escalator ride

as i left my-so-called-friends who only stare in a strange look at me, the ride on that escalator were a brief one. seeing the other staircases where there some people who i guess were trying to remember or learn something like there was gonna be a test or something. and guess what? the escalator went for a cliff! but not scared, i was thrilled to jump of that cliff.. and so i jumped and it was all black.

frame 04: the lines and the shattered glass below it

and there i was waking up in a nowhere valley with a lot of people. and those poeple were in line of something, queueing something. and below them are shattered glass! barefooting in lines in front of hundreds and hundreds of counters..when somebody was pushing me from behind, i join the lin instantly. surprisingly, the shattered glass were not hurting my feet, it itches me a little bit.. a little blood came out of it, but not even a single pain. i was in the shortest line but it felt like long hours.

frame 05: the counter and the questions

and the line's up, i stood up there, in front of the counter.. the counter is a small window where i could only see a hand and a thing what i remember was a thick book. then comes the questions. i dont remember any of the questions, it feels like easy-but-deep questions and i kept giving the wrong answer, said the voice behind the counter. i was so confused. (as easy as "what's one plus one?" and "two" as an answer is not the right answer). the voice said i should learn more, a lot. to figure out things i havent figure out, the voice said to me. i was still stumped there when i was taken out from the counter by two people i dont know, and one of them said that yeah i should really learn a lot, and use voice recorder, it really helps.. whoa! what's that about? and then i closed my eyes trying to think.

and when i open my eyes, i was back in real world, my bed to be exact. yeah i know sometimes a dream is just a dream, it supposed to be nothing.. but this one, the one at the last morning of the year got into me..

what do you think it means?

menikmati mendukung Legiun Garuda di Piala Federasi

yah.. kita belum juara, meskipun menang 2-1 atas Malaysia di pertandingan terakhir, namun masih belum bisa mengangkat piala juara kali ini. tapi bagaimanapun, ada keseruan sendiri di balik perjalanan Timnas di pagelaran AFF Suzuki 2010.. siapa yang sangka para wanita kini mulai banyak yang mau dan tertarik untuk mendukung Timnas kita? apapun alasannya, membuat lebih manis sepakbola kita dan tentunya bertambah juga dukungan bagi legiun kita.

sedikit tentang pertandingan terakhir kemarin, menurut saya (yang tidak ahli bermain bola), merupakan sebuah pertandingan yang sangat baik. if's it's not good, i would call it great! kita menyerang terus, mengoyak dari sana sini.. tapi memang harus saya akui, pemain bertahan lawan sangat disiplin mampu menutup ruang gerak penyerang kita.. dan ketika berhasil menemukan ruang gerak, masih tertahan oleh sang penjaga gawang yang terbukti bermain sangat baik malam itu diawali dengan berhasil menahan tendangan pinalti kapten timnas kita.. bayangkan tekanan yang didapat pemain kita, ketika penalti itu gagal dan musuh berhasil menjebol gawang (lagi) dengan serangan balik yang taktis ketika pertahanan kita lengah.. oo common, siapapun seharusnya bisa melihat ketatnya pertahanan lawan..tapi kemudian pemain kita terus bangkit dan bermain dengan sangat baik malam itu dengan melesatkan dua gol ke pertahanan mereka.. it was such a moment when those goals are made, wasnt it?

dan mungkin (sudah pasti tepatnya) adalah hal yang sangat jauh berbeda antara: melihat di layar kaca, bangku penonton dan berada di lapangan sebagai pemain.. jangan salahkan pemain kita yang sudah berlari kencang terus terlihat tidak mampu memberikan umpan, pemain kita yang belum berhasil memberikan sentuhan terakhir di depan gawang, pemain kita yang kadang terlihat berlari lebih pelan dibanding tim lawan, dan juga hal-hal lain yang tentunya mereka (pemain) yang lebih merasakan, tidaklah mudah bermain di lapangan sana kawan.. so, ada baiknya kita yang katanya sebagai pendukung timnas melakukan apa yang kita bisa lakukan di luar lapangan.. daripada menyalahkan, meng-goblok2-an, atau meremehkan permainan mereka, seharusnya kita mampu memberikan support yang positif.. jika mereka jatuh, kita angkat dan bangkitkan ; jika mereka belum berhasil menjebol setelah set-piece yang cukup baik, kita berikan dukungan "ayo terus, coba lagi, kita pasti bisa!". Bukankah support yang baik seperti itu? saya bukan fanatik sepakbola Timnas, apalagi seorang patriotik, tapi berani dijamin seperti jutaan penonton lainnya, saya rasa kita telah bersatu sebagai bangsa Indonesia selama 90 menit malam itu, bukan begitu? beberapa teman saya bahkan menTweet betapa nasionalisnya momentum malam itu, ada yang berteriak-teriak, mengumpat, hampir menangis, merinding dan tentu juga ada yang tidak kuasa menitikkan air mata.. wajar saja jika melihat permainan penuh seperti itu..

dan saya salut dengan Riedl sang pelatih yang mampu meramu dan mengolah pemain kita dan sangat menyetujui beberapa kutipannya tentang permainan kita, lawan, dan beberapa hal lainnya:

"Congratulations to the Malaysian team on winning the AFF Suzuki Cup although I think that it was the better team that lost the final," said Riedl.

"I think we really lost the final in the first leg in Kuala Lumpur after we allowed three goals in a terrible 12 minutes. Today, I thought that we were really unlucky because we played our best football of the tournament in the first half but we could not score a goal.

"After we went a goal behind, we showed a lot of determination and we fought very hard to come back and we deserved to win the game. We could really have scored five, six or seven goals tonight but we missed too many chances in the first half.

"I want to thank the whole team for the commitment and discipline that they showed on the pitch. In particular, I must thank the captain, Firman Utina, and Bambang Pamungkas, who is our team leader because they are my right hands on the field. But the whole team deserve to be proud of their success and the way that they have played in the tournament."

Riedl did not believe that Firman's missed spot kick may have made much of a difference to the final outcome.

"Even if we had scored a penalty, a lot of things still could have happened so we will never know how big a difference it might have made," said the Austrian. "But I'm probably thinking the same as all of you (that it might have been a big difference to the final outcome)."

Despite the devasting loss, Riedl insisted that he has no plans for leaving his current position as Indonesia's head coach.

"The president of the Indonesian FA can kick me out tomorrow. But as long as I am in charge of the team, I will continue to make the decisions of how we play and who plays.

I still have a 16-month contract with the team and I want to stay but you never know what will happen tomorrow," he added.

yah ini semua di luar sinar laser, rusuh antiran tiket, tentang bos PSSI, dan beberapa hal lainnya..

yeah i had a great time that game.. great game indeed..
and it's not just a game, it's what unites us.

seperti langit malam itu

katanya langit yang paling cerah itu setelah hujan selesai, setelah badai reda.
sepertinya begitu, seperti langit malam itu.

just for a while..

so fucking tired. feel like leaving all of this behind. may i?

HGN

do you know what today is? we should be thankful for their merits, shall we?
:)

#randomthingsboutme 812

i dont know why or how, but i would easily allured to women with these zodiacs.
(the top left especially)
:)

what i had in mind, literally.

here, check the video out. more info and full credit here.

Leo Burnett Toronto made this as an opening for the 2010 Advertising and Design Club of Canada (ADCC) Awards, which took place on Nov. 4.
well put guys! struck me the first time i saw it.very insightful, why? well, it was pretty much what i had in mind as creative-worker: love it when it goes well, and hate it when it's not.
what can i say? i love this business..

menikmati temper trap

umm yeah.. pada awalnya kirain gak bisa dateng (job-related-reason).. tapi ternyata memang masih diperbolehkan untuk ikut menikmatinya.. menikmati temper trap!

opening act by Efek Rumah Kaca, one of the most anticipated band from Jakarta. yeah, they're very good.. used to listen to their album a couple years ago, when i hear their music, kinda bring out some part of me that never show up to surface for a while. well anyhoo, they warm the crowd up pretty good. check their myspace out.

the second act is James Yuill. hell, i dont know this guy. but watching him do a one-man-performance (Dj-ing, Guitaring, Drumpadding, Keyboarding, Acousticing and all!) on stage give me the thrill, he's good. not preferably my kind of music, but i found myself dancing to this hahaha. for more about him visit here.

and finally, for almost three-hours-of-non-stop-standing, the temper trap. wuihh, the band i really like just because of the song Sweet Disposition, and more and more loving it after hearing their Conditions album (and to know that Dougy-theleadvoclist is an Indonesian, the band is just plain awesome to me..) The gig was great, everything between the opening through the end is awesome! they perform really well, and the crowd do the singalong just fine, i cant say no more, they're just awesome.. keep clapping my hand at every end of the song they played. Oh, and they played all the song on the album, plus one new song from the upcoming album.. Yeah, the band rocks that night out! Great show guys, come again will ya!

here's some of the favourites played live at that gig. enjoy!



and this keep playing at the big screen while we were waiting for the gigs,
Love Lost by Temper Trap. Funny lads!



thanks for Ismaya Live, and the guy that upload the video on youtube .

yeah, a normal life.

Dexter Morgan:
Do you have a dream for your life? Your future? Yes?

Rita Bennett:
Of course. Do you?

Dexter Morgan:
It might sound weird. I want to someday be content. Just feel comfortable, like everyone else. I want...

Rita Bennett:
...a normal life?

Dexter Morgan:
Yeah, a normal life.

Rita Bennett:
That's all I want. Just that.

Dexter Morgan:
No fame and fortune? Excitement at every turn?

Rita Bennett:
No, I've had enough excitement, thank you. I'll take boring.

Dexter Morgan:
Average.

Rita Bennett:
Ordinary.

Dexter Morgan:
That's weird, huh?

Rita Bennett:
Yeah.

what's the definition of normal life? yeah i have a quite normal life i guess, but quite normal isn't a normal one, is it?
i just want to be content. someday.
quote taken from Dexter series (#1.5)

Pure Performance - The 2011 Subaru WRX STI

most people will think this only a simple video, but if you're not most people and especially really into animation and know the basic of it, this one for sure gonna blow your mind! well, at least mine hehehe :)

showing how fast the performance of the car with the pure principle of animating is pretty awesome to me, simple execution yet so well-told, aint it?

well, the idea itself been done years before, with some of the subway round the world: NYC's, LA's, Japan, and some others i guess.

either way, yeah i like it!

Happy Halloween!

gotta love how Google celebrate Halloween on their homepage. I've never been to a halloween party but if i could i would want to spend it with Scooby Doo and the gang too! hahaha



happy halloween all! more about it here

a little bit reminder

let me remind you, yeah you.. gotta let the past go
or you're gonna miss the greatness of the present.
just hold on to what is real dear :)

hujan licin.

habis hujan, tepat sebelum perlintasan rel kereta, dari kanan ada seorang pengendara motor sedikit lebih kencang dari saya, sekejap kemudian dia terpeleset.. BLASSS!!! percikan api dari gesekan motor dengan aspal terpijar sangat jelas di gelapnya malam itu dan saya sangat yakin mukanya yang tidak tertutup helm itu hanya berjarak tidak lebih dari delapan centimeter dari ban belakang motor di depannya. saya baru saja mau turun untuk membantunya ketika dia bangun dan berusaha menyalakan motornya kembali. aduh bapak, semoga tidak apa-apa yah. mengingatkan kita semua untuk berhati-hati kalau hujan.



well, tidak hanya hujan saja, tetapi juga waspada setiap saat berkendara kali yah.

Ina-Uru

got a free ticket (it's a VIP! :p) to watch a friendly soccer match between Indonesia versus Uruguay. Held in Gelora Bung Karno, It's been a long time since i watch a game live at a stadium. wuiiihh, the crowd and the euforia, its a very fun experience.. if only i brought my canon.. and i didnt put too much comment on the game (cause i believe it's hard being all those players), but i yelled and hooray-ing when we've got our first (and the last) goal as an opening.

well, the game as anyone could predicted, we've lost.. 1-7! it's Uruguay for God's sake! the semifinalist of the last World Cup! hahaha i had a great time indeed!

lost by 1-7 is better than 1-8 right? :P

"i am i am a zombie"

yeah i must say, it doesnt take much time for me to like the band.
although nothing really new, The Pretty Reckless really suits me.. i could say they rocks! kinda miss this kind of music: catchy riffs and tunes, also singalong-able lyrics.

oh, and the frontlady is Taylor Momsen, the girl who play Jenny Humprey from Gossip Girls series (yeah, i watch that series :P) i kinda like her voice, i think she know what she wants to sing, and how she plays it.. despite her blackened-eye-makeup, she's pretty hot with her rebellious character type..

check their website here , you've got to experience it yourself.. i've been playin their albums over and over again for the last couple of weeks and still not bored of them yet. my favourite track is Zombie.

i will.

random thought of mine. kinda miss the ocean.

130910

i'm living it to the max! thanks for riding along, all the plus and the minus!
hari ini adalah ulang tahun (almarhum) ayah. kinda miss you (a lot) :)

1431 H

not very creative and a bit ordinary i know, cut me some slack :P

Selamat merayakan idul fitri 1431 H,
mari menikmati lebaran,
mohon maaf lahir dan bathin..
selamat liburan, salam buat keluarga.. :)
flxps

this short messages was spread.. thanks for sending it back, it means a lot :)
semoga kita masih berkesempatan untuk mencapai ramadhan tahun depan :)

bersama, bukan kepada.

"sometimes i just miss a friend who i can talk with, joke with; about the world, about sexuality, about ideas, about anything.. a simple talk with no boundaries, no hard feelings."

yeah, merindukan seseorang seperti itu, setelah sempat berbicara dengan seorang teman yang sangat dekat di masa lalu, yang bagaimanapun penjelasannya tidak akan pernah bisa sedekat seperti dulu. Untuk tertawa bersama, bertukar pikiran, dan hal-hal lepas lainnya.. tenang, aku hargai keputusanmu itu hai teman.. cuma bisa menghela nafas dan menerimanya. *sigh*

berbicara bersama, tertawa bersama.
bersama, bukan kepada.
:)

someone else to do it.

"i've found it's hard to stab yourself on the back, you need someone else to do it."

no, nothing wrong with me in case you're worrying (yeah right). it's just a random thought. :)

kesadaran.

"mempertemukan sperma dan sel telur yang dilakukan secara sadar seyogyanya diikuti dengan kesadaran untuk melakukan yang terbaik sebagai manusia."


umm.. yeah, (sometimes) i read cosmo too. :)

menikmati The Baseballs

hahaha found this old stylin' band. Rockabilly!
i guess it was from Marit's Tweet.
and then it all goes, from one song to the full album: Strike!

they covers the songs from this era with their old rockabilly style!
check the websites here for complete story, biography and all.

and you could check some of the rockabilly videos here: Hot and Cold, Umbrella
damn, the videos are very old style, they really good at it.

have some laughs and fun times like the old days.
yeah i'm not really livin' that era but i'm lovin' it.

like most of them

"probably i didnt do all the things you thought i've done to you.maybe it's all only in your head, and you're being selfish to me about it. like most of them, most of the times."

i am okay, and i thought we are, but i guess you're not.
hmm.. what can i do about it heh? :)

inception

Nolan did a very awesome job!
The casts are awesome!
and the musicscoring is also awesome!
the story, the plot, the effects (yes of course) are awesome!
and yeah i am amazed by the awesomeness!

got pretty high expectation before watching it, and it really paid off.
a mindblowing movie about dreams and what you can do in it.
i always love this kind of movie, a movie when your mind cant stop thinking afterward.
a very simple yet somehow complicated concept beautifuly delivered.

here's the official WB's plot:
Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Cobb's rare ability has made him a coveted player in this treacherous new world of corporate espionage, but it has also made him an international fugitive and cost him everything he has ever loved. Now Cobb is being offered a chance at redemption. One last job could give him his life back but only if he can accomplish the impossible-inception. Instead of the perfect heist, Cobb and his team of specialists have to pull off the reverse: their task is not to steal an idea but to plant one. If they succeed, it could be the perfect crime. But no amount of careful planning or expertise can prepare the team for the dangerous enemy that seems to predict their every move. An enemy that only Cobb could have seen coming.


mind over logics, guilt, dreams, suicidal tendencies. What else? It really fits me. i could have a talk all day about the movie, the concept and all. shall we?
:)

one of my favourite quote:
negative emotions are trumped by positive emotions.

when i dream a sweet one.

Have you ever wake up smiling, in a very good mood just because a dream, a wonderful dream? Well, it happens to me just now.. I just had a simple and wonderful dream last nite. :)

The dream is (of course) including her. The set and the story is simple, it just me and her sitting on a bench in a very wonderful weather. We talked and talked about anything, everything. She shared her plans of being adventurous and her dreams in the future. We had smiles, a lot of them, she laughed at my stupid jokes. Aahh, the smiles, i'm missing them already. We just talked and talked, but it makes me feel happy. :)

Hey you, how could you come into my dream just like that?
Have you really growing in me?
Is it okay that i call you the girl of my dream?
Though it was a dream, i could swear it was you, clearly,
with all those sweet and calming smiles. really, it was you.
the first one to call me a romantic, tough not directly to my face.

And i wonder if you ever had the same way the other way around, a dream including me that makes you happy. Hey, if you do, just tell me, and sure we can have a little chat about it, It must come from you, otherwise, if it comes from me, it would be just become another pickup line from me. A lame one. Hahaha.

Well, it's a very great one. A sweet dream indeed. And it's probably just a vision of me dying out for someone to talk to. Whatever it means, I thank the Lord for me having it.

06.13 - smiling.

Aahhh, menikmati sekali mimpi itu. :)

a (not) very simple thing.

and i will do too. :)

waking up in Forks

it was noon at Sunday, last thing i remember i was laying in my bed, napping. and then there i was, sitting on row G seat 9 in the nearest movie theatre watching the Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

well, not much change, it's still a teen-flick covered in vampires and wolves. teendrama. about making choices, making mistakes, about what-so-called-love.

got bored most of the movie, but it got some pretty casts as eye candies to enjoy: Alice Cullen is still adorably cute, and changing Victoria to Bryce Dallas Howard is a good call, and Bella is still Bella, and i'd got my eyes on Jane (never particularly have a fond of her, but Dakota Fanning is such a great artists and i'm kinda like her being coll and not talking much in the movie, hahaha)



it's one of the movie either you like it, or you just dont like it.

cukup menikmati tapi masih tidak sampai ingin membaca bukunya. sedikit kehilangan suara-suara teriakan para wanita seperti saat menonton film-film sebelumnya, hahaha.

till old, till drop.

this is a simple story about two friends of mine: a guy and a girl from my two very different worlds.

i met the guy back in my years of college. as far as i remember, he's always been almost around back then. a very nice guy who's so good at playing guitar especially The Beatles' songs. Hardworking he is, i think he's in love in what he does for a living now: advertising.

and the girl, i met her first time when she got an internship at my old office. she's always been a very nice girl who's really good at speaking Mandarin. Passionate she is, i feel she's in love in what she does for a living now: advertising.

yeah, both are in advertising. the guy's an art director and the girl's a copywriter. as clear as it it, i play my matchmaker-card on both of them. and voila! they've become a couple.

last nite i was having dinner with both of them. they look cute and very fond of each others. (even tough they played it cool, i can see it very clearly.) I am so happy for them, i wish they could last. they will. they have the same passion and got what it takes to make it works. really.

the guy's name is Jay and the girl's Jen. beautiful, isnt it?
both love advertising, and got a lot of potential in it.
both hate my smile and my laughs,
and still cant be sure if i was serious or not. :)

Jay & Jen, have great times together.
till old, till drop.

numbers: math wonders in ten steps

someone just send me this message:
"matematika lagi nih : Ambil tanggal lahirmu, x4, +13, x25, -200, +bulan lahirmu, x2, -40, x50, +2 digit terakhir tahun lahirmu, - 10500, ADA SESUATU? Coba ya, sangat menarik!"

24 x 4 = 96
96 + 13 = 109
109 x 25 = 2725
2725 - 200 = 2525
2725 + 01= 2526
2526 x 2 = 5052
5052 - 40 = 5012
5012 x 50 = 250600
250600 + 85 = 250685
250685 - 10500 = 240185

240185 is my birthday!

ya ya ya. ok deh. silakan mencoba. hahaha

menikmati Despicable Me

Hahaha this is really a hillarious movie. A very-light-family movie with simple idea as the main story: "let's steal the moon". Dont think too much of it, just enjoy it.. and sure you're gonna get a fun experience! ahhh the characters is awesome, especially the tree orphans, they're so adorable.. and dont forget the minions. they make the whole movie very entertaining. they really do! hahahaha

'nuuf said.. bring your little ones and watch this movie, sure is worth it seeing their face afterwards. if there's a chance watch the 3D version probably it will adds the fun more.



enjoy!

menikmati 2010 World Cup

OKay. The 2010 World Cup is Finally over. Congrats to SPAIN becoming the winner of the tournament. Despite of all the controversies during the tournament, there are games that i really like, most of all including the Germany, starting from the Round of 16 till their match with Uruguay for the 3rd place of the tournament. To me, they're showing how a football should be, simple and entertaining. really. Germany has growing in me now. ^^

another great game is the last game from the Italy before they're sent back home. If only they could play like that from the beginning of the tournament. England, with all the word-promising stars, could not make it. Too bad. Well, for my favourite: France, they really not showing their true qualities, what's up with that anyway? *sigh*

Congrats to all the player who won the awards, Diego Forlan for the golden Ball trophy, he really deserve it, what a mazing player, no disagreement at all. And a real salute to Thomas Muller from #GER he's really something and supposed to be a great ammo for the future German team.

Oh, don't forget about Paul the Octopus, He's real and rockin', an animal oracle who can predict whose team is winning. i laughed about it but don't really have a real grudge against him, (i always love octopus). well, Paul score 8/8 prediction in the 2010 World Cup, it means 100% accuracy. amazing! hahaha

There is another one that who could foretell the result, it's a person, in the name of kebobunting: a friend of mine who just got the real football euophoria in this World Cup. She believed she got a curse that whoever team she's supporting, it will lose. we called it the kebobunting curse. hahaha. but again the curse is already broken when she picks Spain in the Final. i dont know if she should be happy or not losing the curse. or probably the curse doesnt work in the Final, hahaha. :)

and there's also Nike: Write the Future Curse. The curse is all the player's team on the advertising got eliminated. but let's not talk about it hahaha.

a few gratitudes from me:

• Thanks FIFA and South Africa for helding the 2010 World Cup. great job!
• Thanks to all the teams and the players. Thanks for all the good and great games you've played. cant imagine the pressure of standing in the world stage.
• Thanks Paul the Octopus, and the Kebobunting Curse, it made the tournament more interseting i guess. hahaha
• Thanks to all the supporters, both alongside and different side. it's been a pleasure to have fun with you guys. :)
• Thanks for the official songs. Not missing a single day during 30days of the tournament playing in our heads.
  

semoga yang berikutnya bisa menikmati secara langsung di Brazil. :D

These Days

What's this life anyway?
What's it to you and me?
What's it to anyone?
Who are we supposed to be?
Make me a storybook
Write me away from here
I need a different now

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow a smile
I'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After...

Once upon these days

There's four roads to anywhere
Four ways to everything
We were unbreakable
We spoke our destiny
Let's take a moment out
Go where we never go
Let's make a new world now

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow your smile
We'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After...

Once upon these days

Then one day we'll find
when we're looking back at this time
Wondering how we've come so far from this
When we close our eyes

What's this life anyway
What's it to you and me
What are we doing here
Who are we supposed to be
I'll take a better world
I'll take anything
I'll take our little world now

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow your smile
We'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After...

Once upon these days

Chantal Kreviazuk - These Days

mendengarnya secara tidak sengaja, never knew this song before, pretty like it right away.
menikmati sekali!

Suicidal Tendencies

The Indicators:

Situational Indicators

• Loss of a Relationship Via Rejection or Separation
• Death of a Loved One
• Diagnosis of a Terminal Illness
• Loss of Financial Security
• A Change in Physical Appearance
• Loss of Employment/A New Job
• Loss of Self-Esteem
• Abuse

Emotional Indicators

• Depression
• Hopelessness
• Helplessness

Behavioral Indicators

• Acquiring a Weapon
• Hoarding Medication
• Putting Affairs in Order
• Making or Changing a Will
• Increased Interest in Suicide
• Giving Away Personal Belongings
• Mending Grievances
• Checking on Insurance Policy
• Withdrawing from People

Verbal Indicators

• Straightforward Comments:
  • "I wish I were dead"
  • "I wish I had the nerve to kill myself."
  • "I wish I could die in my sleep."
  • "If it weren't for my kids, my husband ... I would commit suicide."
  
  
• Hints:
  • "I hate life."
  • "Why do I bother?"
  • "I can't take it anymore."
  • "Nothing matters anymore."

Warning Signs for Suicide

The following are possible warning signs of suicide:

• talking about dying: talk of disappearing, jumping, shooting oneself or other expressions of self-harm.
• recent loss: death, divorce, a broken relationship or loss of a job can all lead to thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts. Other losses that can be indicative of suicide include loss of religious faith and a loss of interest in one's friends or activities the individual once enjoyed.
• change in personality: the individual may exhibit unusual signs of fatigue, indecisiveness or anxiousness.
• change in behavior: lack of concentration in work, school or everyday activities, such as household chores.
• change in sleeping patterns: oversleeping, insomnia and other types of sleep disturbances can be suicide signs and symptoms.
• change in eating habits: loss of appetite or an increased appetite; other changes can include increased or decreased weight.
• decreased sexual interest: such changes can include impotence or irregular or missed periods.
• low self-esteem: this suicide symptom can be exhibited through emotions such as shame, inferiority or self-hatred.
• fear of loss of control: the individual worries about losing her sanity and about harming either herself or others.
• lack of hope for the future: another suicide warning sign is that the individual feels that there is no hope for the future and that things will never improve.

Some other suicide warning signs include previous suicide attempts, a history of substance or alcohol abuse, excessive spending, hyperactivity, restlessness or lethargy.

What You Should Do

If you or someone you know is exhibiting any of the above suicide symptoms, you should seek help immediately.

If you are suicidal, get help right away by taking one of the following steps:

• talk to a loved one: reach out to someone you love and tell them about how you feel.
• seek professional help: speak with a counselor, psychiatrist, therapist, your family physician or visit a suicide prevention and crisis center: speaking with a professional is a crucial step towards recovery.

Above all, know that help is out there and while things may seem hopeless now, you are not alone in your struggles.

If someone you know is exhibiting the warning signs of suicide or has confided in you about their suicidal thoughts, take one or more of the following steps:

• don't be sworn to secrecy: While your loved one may feel betrayed if you tell someone about their desire to commit suicide, not doing anything only puts her life in danger. Tell a therapist or doctor about your friend or relative's condition immediately.
• take action: Remove any harmful substances or objects from your friend's home, such as excessive pills, poison, knives or handguns.
• be direct: Talk openly to your friend about her behavior. Don't judge her or lecture her. If your friend confides in you, acting shocked about her desire to commit suicide will only cause more alienation.

resources here and here.


Got a pretty unpleasant feeling in the last few days, dont really know why, probably because a very-high-level of-dullness-life-routine. It feels like a part of me is craving for something nebulous, and i dont really know what it is. Hate to feel like this and i'm kinda afraid of myself.

And then i Googled this. Hahaha. 7 out of 10 of the warning signs jolted me. It's funny in some uncanny way. Just wanna share this, so we might know what we should do if anyone's we're related to (or not) exhibiting these signs. But in many cases, people are not aware of these signs.

sedikit lelah, butuh sedikit waktu untuk mengistirahatkan teman-teman di dalam benak pikiran yang sepertinya sedang bertengkar ria untuk sesuatu yang tidak jelas. beristirahat sejenak untuk menikmati segala sesuatu yang dimiliki dan dialami, serta bersyukur akan itu semua.

if you're tired of something you really like, don't stop, just take a rest for a while. :)

It was not that important. really.

heart:
"Oh C'mmon man! just come and apologize to her.."
mind:
"Really? why should i? it was a joke and everybody knew that.."
heart:
"but the joke wounded her.. real deep. and intentionally or not, it hurts her so.."
mind:
"yeah i know, been thinking about it too.. again, it was purely a joke, a simple joke out of nowhere, and she should know and not give a real shit about it. it's not worth it to be mad over something not so important right?"
heart:
"true. but it feels not right to hurt people and not make an apology, isnt it?"
mind:
"..."
heart:
"isnt it?"
mind:
"nope, i'm putting my foot down, if we're apologize to her, she wont be learning her lesson.. it was an unimportant jokes that nobody really care about. She must be putting too much thoughts to it, it's her biggest mistake in this case. and do you think she never did the same thing as we did: joking about people behind their back?"
heart:
"... i dont know.."
mind:
"Do you remember how she hurts us several times just by joking about us both to our face and behind us? and it just not us, it happens to some of our friends! Sometimes it was worst than our jokes.. Did she realize and apologize? i recall not. Not wanting her to apologize or anything, we're already forgive her, right? just because we know it was a joke! if we, the younger and less-life-experienced one could do that, why does she wont?"
heart:
"well, everybody's got their own opinion.."
mind:
"That's it! do you want her to feel and think that she's always right? hate to say this: do you know that it would be very egoistic of us by apologizing to her? just for the sake our peace, not really hers."
heart:
"..."
mind:
"a lot of people including us try to accept her with all the attitude, all the gesture, all the inappropriate things she said as a co-worker, and we all care about her in the right amount.. so why cant she see that? not just by one unimportant and unmeaningful joke, she turn her back on the people! it was so wrong of hers! "
heart:
"(unmeaningful joke? ...)"
mind:
"yes! sometimes we just didnt mean all the thing we said, and that's why people call it a joke, isnt it? why bothering things that unimportant in the first place? that's the bottom line! if you and me bothers little things like that, i'm pretty sure we're not gonna be around till now."
heart:
"... you got a point there, friend.."
mind:
"i am making a point here. Dont sweat the small stuff. it just waste of time and energy."
heart:
"hmmm.. yeah you're right. sometimes i just hated it when you're right.."
mind:
"i'm not saying that i am right, it just a matter of opinion.. i was so fine before we had this talk.. and i hate when you feel something not right, it really bothers me.. but i think it is for the greater good mate. though it's not our responsibility, i hope she learn her lesson too."
heart:
"yeah. if she doesnt, why bother? right?"
mind:
"word. but maybe later someday, when she has become real close to us, like you and me."


sedikit menyesal ada yang terluka akibat suatu hal yang sebenarnya sangat tidak begitu penting, itu menurut saya. tapi tidak penting menurut saya ataupun sebagian besar orang di dunia, belum tentu tidak penting buat dia. Jika benar-benar terluka, saya minta maaf setulus-tulusnya, meski tidak seperlunya.

cinta seperti benci

"cinta, seperti halnya benci, adalah yang membuat dunia ini tidak seimbang."


if you're not agree, then let's have a talk shall we? :)

toy story 3

i just watched this movie. I really love and totally recommend it! i cant stop laughing and feel blue at the same time. there are a lot of lessons in each and every scene: Leadership, Faith, Teamwork, Growing Up, Cautioness, Forgiveness, and all the greatness in life that probably we're already forget. Oh common, when was the last time you forgive someone who did bad to you? or when was the last time you stand up for what you believe in? well, overall the movie is memorable, hillarious and touching...we all went through that phase in our lives... at least i do. :)

ooohh, and like as usual, PIXAR movies got an opening animation you wouldnt wanna miss. This time, it's Night & Day. another amazing animation, simple yet so deep. How two very totally different things could get everything just by sharing.

9.2 / 10 of 24.836 votes! that's imdb rating and totally agree!

talking about the world of human beings, the difference, the harmony and being realistic, also secularity.

a very great talk with HH Tenzin Gyatso the 14th Dalai Lama. i REALLY suggests you all see the full interview here. very enlighting! here some of his saying,

"my basic belief is we're all the same human being. of all six billion human beings, we're all the same. and we too much emphasize in problems of secondary differences. forgetting the basic level, that's the problem. yes, we had different religion, different nationality, different system, or economy systems, these are secondary. if then we have some sort of conflicts in this level, we must to remember that we're the same human being, then these problems can solved chivalry and peacefully."

"The very nature of using force is just to control others body not mind. Mind could change only through understanding, dialouge, compassion, and brotherhood-sisterhood. Then you could change our mind, that's the only way. So using force, destroy that. Force bring fear, fear bring anger, anger brings hatred, then violence."

Thanks to Metro TV's Face to Face with Desi anwar, such a good Program, meeting amazing people at such amazing places. Rock On!

the mix.

Love : 1% concept + 99% execution.

:)

i just runover a cockroach.

aahh, baru saja aku membunuh seekor kecoa di rumahku, melindasnya dengan motor. Damn, it made me think.

menjadikanku seperti hipokrit, berbicara tentang kepedulian terhadap sesama, baik manusia ataupun mahluk hidup lainnya.. sebagai contoh, aku peduli (yeah right, not so much i guess, never done anything about it :( ) tentang kelestarian hewan-hewan seperti komodo, paus, atau hewan-hewan lainnya yang secara global dianggap salah menyakiti apalagi membunuh mereka.

Bagaimana dengan pembunuhan yang baru saja kulakukan, seekor kecoa pun termasuk mahkluk hidup bukan? dan aku menghabisinya dengan tidak berpikir panjang: hanya karena jijik atau iseng. Dan sebagian besar penduduk dunia pasti akan memaafkanku dan menganggap itu hal yang biasa, tetapi bagaimana dengan para penggemar serangga? kecoa lebih tepatnya, hahaha jika ada, habislah aku.

event tough i dont really know what's the good use of them? but it doesnt make me have the rights to eliminate them, does it? they're also a living creature, just like us. aaahh, in the end it's still a subjective matter of me, aint it? i still need to learn a lot about fairness in life.

and it's believed that cockroach has been living for a long time alongside with the human. so if only we could learn it's formula of staying alive, we could survive for another centuries hahaha. (even Pixar had a thought about it, and put a cockroach that has survived all humanity alongside Wall-E)

this is random thought out of something happen today. i know i'm wrong and i'm sorry for that. sincerly.

Wheels.

I know what you're thinkin'
We were goin' down
I can feel the sinkin'
But then I came around

And everyone I've loved before
Flashed before my eyes
And nothin' mattered anymore
I looked into the sky

Well I wanted something better man
I wished for something new
And I wanted something beautiful
And wish for something true
Been lookin' for a reason man
Something to lose

When the wheels come down
When the wheels touch ground
And you feel like it's all over
There's another round for you
When the wheels come down

Know your head is spinnin'
Broken hearts will mend
This is our beginning
Comin to an end

Well, you wanted something better man
You wished for something new
Well, you wanted something beautiful
Wished for something true
Been lookin for a reason man
Something to lose

When the wheels come down
When the wheels touch ground
And you feel like it's all over
There's another round for you
When the wheels come down

When the wheels come down
When the wheels touch ground
And you feel like it's all over
There's another round for you
When the wheels come down

When the wheels come down
When the wheels touch ground
And you feel like it's all over
There's another round for you
When the wheels come down

Foo Fighters - Wheels



everytime i hear it, it's tellin me to grow up even more. :)

Five Stages Of Grief

The progression of states is:

1. DENIAL
   "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
   Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behind after death.
2. ANGER
   "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"
   Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
3. BARGAINING
   "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
   The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
4. DEPRESSION
   "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
   During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
5. ACCEPTANCE
   "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
   In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with their mortality or that of their loved one.

in case you forget or dont know. basically for facing death or illness, but i guess it works to any conditions.
:)

losing interests.

do you realize there are times in life, that we lose interests in something that we usually love or like doing it? we dont mean to be like that, but one thing and another, it just the way it is.

for example, it's already another WorldCup. i could remember how i was really into watching it a few years before. i could pick a country i love (France, for once) and support it all the way it goes, watch every game it had, even the boring ones. but now? i know nothing bout it except it is on Africa. hahaha. i was amazed with how wonderful to be a World Cup player, playing for your country, in the world most famous stage, it's so amazing, isnt it?. but now i think i've lost my interest in it. well, not all, some part of it. Just not feelin' the hype i guess.

another examples is the NBA Finals. I played basketball through my senior high school years, and still lovin' it till my first year at university i guess. to me, it's not always about the winning, but more to the beauty of the game. Jordan is my favourite, still remember his Golden Era with the famous triangle offense with the bulls. but after he left the game, i lost my appetite in it, my bad i know, but it just the way it is. and it's already NBA Finals now, Boston versus Lakers. Kobe's still playing for Los Angeles using number 24 but who's playing for Boston? hell, i dont know, i was surprised to know KG's there.. but still, when i watch the game, and the beauty of it, i do still has the love for it, just not as big as before. another kind of interests-losing, perhaps.

well, it's just two examples reckoning of what's happening to me in the current time. But it makes realize, we do really lose interest for a few things in life. I lost my interest for Christmas Holiday, no.. almost all national holiday probably.. remember when we were little, we're eager and got very enthusiast about it? how 'bout now? not really into it heh? we dont really feel those holiday spirit, do we? what's with that? is it because all the new routinity so-called work? is it a sign of growing up? (i prefer not) or are those things are just not really instresting anymore?

a reason i could find to that matter is that we're also losing somebody or anyone to have or to do the same interests as we are. when we got someone or anybody to do or enjoy the same interest, i assume we're not losing it as soon as we're alone. so, a companion is a must then? but every person has their own life, arent they?

well again, some of us find new things that interest our life.. and that's a good one, lose some and get some.

but i think we're the one who choose to lose interests in all of them. we got bored and pretty unconcern of all those thing we used to loved. we always find a reason to leave them behind. from small reasons to the big ones, and before you know it, BANG! we're kinda missing all those thing. well, dont know bout you, but i do.

• i lost my interest in sports. not doing them, well at least still enjoying the beauty of it. :P
• i lost my interest in holiday spirit: christmas, lebaran, new year, and else.. i should find the joy of it again.
• i never lost interest in designing, art directing, or anything that relates to my job.
• i lost my interest of travelling, but i guess the sea keep calling me back.
• i never lost interest in knowing something new.
• i never lost interest in life. yet. :P
• i never lost interest in noodles. :P
• ...

but some says: No one could loses anything because no one really owns anything. :)


hahaha, mencoba mengingat dan merindukan hal-hal yang biasa kunikmati. belajar menerapkan semangat untuk menikmati hal sekecil apapun.

menikmati pekerjaan.

find a job that you love, and you will never have to work again. :)

it is :)

each time we die, we learn to live again.

menyukai dan menikmati ini. :)